Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
