This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
