we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
