We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
