Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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