so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
