Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
