If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
