Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
