I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
