guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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