Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
