I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
