i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
