i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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