dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
