Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
is it fun? or sober?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
