Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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