Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
