I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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