But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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