Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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