Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
