how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
