There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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