please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
