i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
