guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
