my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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