I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
