there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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