im so drunk with asians
where?
always
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
