there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
