Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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