I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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