no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
