my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
