wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How does one acquire holy water?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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