He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
