why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
