i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
