Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
