that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
