Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize