How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
