Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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