belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize