Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
