I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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