it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
