yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Fuck appropriateness.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
