were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
