Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
