Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
