So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
