found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
