Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize