i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
