just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Terrible idea I love it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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