I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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