if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
